


The Effin' Song

by ShadeofGreen



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Ficlet, Gen, read author notes for more detail on that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-15 00:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11219652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeofGreen/pseuds/ShadeofGreen
Summary: “Anyway, what did you w-what the eff is that?” Ryuji turns his head around to find Akechi with a guitar.“A guitar,” answered Akechi, as he walks towards the coffee table.(Or, Goro tries to make a point to Ryuji in the most strangest way possible).





	The Effin' Song

**Author's Note:**

> This thing came into existence because so many people talk about Ryuji saying the word 'effin' a lot. I thought 'oh gee, why don't you make a song about it'. I also wanted to write a crack fic, so this was born. I label it 'crack taken seriously' because I doubt Goro would do this in canon, but somehow I can see do something similar to this in canon? It's complicated. 
> 
> Please excuse any grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, and ooc-ness, and I guess I have to say that the song that Goro's sing is basically a modification of this song from Bewitched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA2e8ZO-UD4
> 
> (I feel like I'm going to break copyright laws or something if I didn't state that part.)

There is one thing Goro Akechi was certain about Ryuji Sakamoto. It wasn’t the fact that the teenager should learn volume control over his voice. It wasn’t the fact that the teenager should really visit a doctor for potential scoliosis. It wasn’t even the fact that the teenager should learn how to push his chair in better. No, the thing Goro Akechi was certain about Ryuji Sakamoto is that he has a weird way of what curse words to use.

Ryuji has a habit of using the word ‘effin’ at times. While Goro wouldn’t mind the teenager censoring himself (or at least, what Goro presumed to be self censoring), the problem was that Ryuji will also say other curse words like hell and damn at times.

If it weren’t for those inconsistencies, Goro wouldn’t have notice it. Worse, Ryuji doesn’t seem realize what he’s doing. Luckily for him, he has a solution to show the teenager it.

* * *

The invitation was unexpected and sudden. Ryuji was on his way home after leaving the café when Akechi literally went up to his face and told him he has to visit his apartment. Ryuji would have honestly told him no, but Ryuji felt that Akechi wasn’t acting like his usual self. Being curious, Ryuji agreed to visit him tomorrow. Besides, it’s not like every day you get to see a celebrity’s home (even if it’s one you don’t like).

“Um…does your place always look like this?” asked Ryuji, taking a seat on the small sofa.

Ryuji would have assumed that Akechi’s place would have been neat and clean, like from a furniture magazine. In reality, it was anything but that. There was a strange collection of small animal statues sitting on the stove and kitchen table. A basket of apples was sitting on top of the small television set (you think a rich guy like him would get something bigger). There were lots of empty coffee cans and water bottles resting near the foot of the coffee table. If the living room and kitchen look like this, Ryuji could only imagine what his bedroom look like.

“Oh yes. I had to clean up, as I don’t usually invite people here,” called Akechi from his bedroom, searching for something.

Ryuji gave a small gulp. He didn’t want to know what it was usually then.

“Um…would you believe me if I say I sing songs?” asked Akechi, crashing into what sounds like a bicycle.

“Yes?” answered Ryuji, unsure if that’s what Akechi wanted to hear.

“…Really?”

“I mean, you’re the ‘great detective’,” explained Ryuji, giving air quotes to the last two words. “I mean, don’t you have to have skills other than deductions or stuff like that for your work?”

“Oh, right.” Akechi slammed the door to his bedroom close.

“Anyway, what did you w-what the eff is that?” Ryuji turns his head around to find Akechi with a guitar.

“A guitar,” answered Akechi, as he walks towards the coffee table.

“You’re going to play that?” asked Ryuji. “Did you just invite me here just so you can show off?”

“Yes, I’m going to play it. No, I didn’t invite you here so I can show off. I invited you here so I can show a point to you that have been bothering me for awhile,” said Akechi, standing right in front of Ryuji, plucking the strings before singing the following song:

“ _Effin', Effin', Effin', Effin'_

_Effin' you want to start a fight_

_Don't ya ever say you’re right_

_Effin' you really mad at me_

_Don't ya ever be nice to me_

_Effin' you wanna make me cry and crappy_

_Ya gotta look cool and cute and snappy_

_Effin', Effin', Effin', Effin'. Ya ya ya!_ ”

Akechi swing his hips one more time before he finish playing. “So? Did you get my point?”

“Not really.”

Ryuji pulled out his cellphone and took a picture of Akechi on the floor, screaming his head off.


End file.
